The report assessed whether children feel loved, cherished, special and supported within the family and community, and whether the family and community are being supported in this task by public policy and resources. This global study measured 40 factors, such as poverty, deprivation, relationships with family and peers, happiness and risky behavior.
At the top of the list are the nations that take the best care of their children — the Netherlands and the Scandinavian countries. At the bottom of the list are the United States (20) and the United Kingdom (21).
Another recent study by the Lucile Packard Foundation for Children’s Health polled Bay Area parents and found that their greatest concern is the emotional health of their children. This finding is important because emotional health is the crux of a child’s well-being; it’s an indicator of the quality of life.
Emotionally healthy children lead happier lives. They are more confident and optimistic, less stressed and more joyful. Furthermore, they make healthier choices about their drug and alcohol use, sexual behavior, education and the future.
“If parents are worried about their children’s medical health, they go to a doctor,” says Childhood Matters radio talk show host Rona Renner. “If they’re worried about their children’s emotional health, they don’t know what to do.”
What parents can do: Plants need soil, water and sunshine. When those needs are not met, there are problems. Children also have basic needs that must be met on a daily basis. When they are not met, children cannot thrive.
To be physically healthy, children need nutritious food, sufficient sleep, shelter, exercise and safety. To be emotionally healthy, children need to know they are loved, cherished, respected, understood and supported. Simply filling those needs frequently solves the problems that keep children from thriving.
We live in stressful times. Fortunately, we can choose how to react or respond to tough situations. We are taught that “fight or flight” are the basic stress reactions, but these are not our only options. Studies have found women respond by "tending" and "befriending." When stressed, women tend to children and reach out to friends. Talking things over can release stress, introduce a different perspective and build connections. It also improves emotional well-being.
Figure out what your own coping skills are and observe those of your children. Make time for kids to talk through troubles. Give them your full attention. Listen to their words—and their feelings. When they finish reflect a feeling back to them: "You must be sad because ...." If you're right on, a smile may light up the face. When you really listen and reflect, you can amplify their joy, calm their fears, and soothe their anger. Doing this well brings a sense of attunement and profound joy.
Then you might ask the child what they could do to address the issues that trouble them. Help them explore possible options. Think through the consequences of each. Support them as they try to make good choices. You may hear a sigh of relief as the burden lifts and emotional well-being returns.
A lot of work needs to be done in the U.S. to get us off the bottom of the list and make our country a child-friendly one. That work needs to be done by all of us — in our homes, in our communities and in the government. “One of the key things is that the role of government is important,” said David Parker of UNICEF, “but the entire society must have at its heart the idea of improving child well-being.”
© Dr. Louise Hart is a parent educator, community psychologist, and author of The Winning Family: Increasing Self-Esteem in Your Children and Yourself and On the Wings of Self-Esteem. To learn more about her books, presentations, or teleclasses visit http://www.drlouisehart.com.
A lot of work needs to be done in the U.S. to get us off the bottom of the list and make our country a child-friendly one. That work needs to be done by all of us — in our homes, in our communities and in the government. “One of the key things is that the role of government is important,” said David Parker of UNICEF, “but the entire society must have at its heart the idea of improving child well-being.”
© Dr. Louise Hart is a parent educator, community psychologist, and author of The Winning Family: Increasing Self-Esteem in Your Children and Yourself and On the Wings of Self-Esteem. To learn more about her books, presentations, or teleclasses visit http://www.drlouisehart.com.
